Morning all!
I thought today I’d share a bit of personal insight into who I am. I’ve been writing mm romance for over five years, and I don’t tend to share a lot about myself.
Since I was a kid I’ve always felt like if someone liked me it was because they didn’t really know me. I didn’t really even realize that about myself until I was older, and I’d notice that I felt extreme anxiety if someone seemed to like me. I always felt I’d disappoint them if they got to know the real me. Not that I’m hugely strange or anything, but I just assumed they had to be mistaken if they actually liked me. I feared that if they looked too close, I wouldn’t seem funny enough. Smart enough. Good enough.
I guess we all hide parts of ourselves trying to put our best foot forward. But the thing is, we’re all odd in our own way. I doubt sincerely there is anyone who isn’t at all strange. Maybe I’m kidding myself, lol, but I don’t think so. Granted, some are stranger than others.
I’ve always been drawn to quirky people. I don’t think perfect people exist, but I think there are people who are better at faking it than others. I like flawed people. I write about flawed people. I find flawed individuals interesting. Especially in books.
I’m shy until I know you. I think sometimes that makes people think I’m prissy, stuck up, or a goody-two-shoes, when nothing could be farther from the truth. I like a lot of music people would never think I like. I cuss more than people might think, and when I drink, I can drink a lot. But I’m kind, and I’m extremely loyal. If you’re my friend or my family, you’ll never go into battle alone. I’ll have your back even if it makes me unpopular.
Not everyone returns that same loyalty to me. I think I have too idealistic of an idea of the world sometimes, and often people let me down. I’m guarded and stupidly trusting at the same time. I’m only close to a small number of people who I trust. That group is mostly made up of my family, who I trust implicitly, and maybe two friends who I think might have my back if I really needed it.
I think this introspective, untrusting side of me actually suits being an author. When you write, it’s useful to be a people watcher, which I am. I may not interact with a ton of people, but I know people. I study people. I love putting those observations down on paper and creating complicated characters.
Well, now you know a bit more about me. Hopefully letting you in isn’t a bad thing. Maybe you can let me see a glimpse into you as well. Feel free to comment and tell me something about yourself that other people might be surprised to learn.
S.C.